Sunday, May 9, 2010

Letting Go

Happy Mother's Day!

I've been focusing on some heavy stuff during the last five months: depression, anger, fear, misdiagnosis, illness, a near-death experience, and loss.

You know what I learned from sharing my deep dark fears and my private journey in a public space where anyone in the world can read it? Letting go has made me free.

I let go of my fear that you will judge me.

I let go of my sadness, my anger and my shame.

I let go of my need to help karma find Dr. H.C.

I let go of my fear that I will get sick again.

I may very well get sick again; I may even lose myself. But I know what to do, I've rallied support and I know that it's possible to come out on the other side standing tall and pretty much back together again.

Thank you for reading my story and for sharing your stories and advice. It has helped me let go.

I love blogging so much I don't want to let that go, so in the next week or so I will transition to an entirely new blog.

After examining my illness and depression, I want to keep it light for a while. (Though, if you know me, you'll know there will be an element of seriousness in everything I do.)

Consumerism has always been fascinating to me. I've thought about it a lot.

Take today for example, a holiday I think is one of the least commercial. Moms want to take a day off and be appreciated. Kids make a special breakfast or clean the house or write a poem in a card.

It's not about diamond rings or dozens of blood red roses.

Or is it different for you?


  1. Mother's day makes me a little sad at first but then I think of my little girl and her mother and I smile.

  2. I had an amazing day :) I'm glad you were able to smile.

  3. I'm sorry you've gone through so much. I had a near-death experience two years ago, and if I see the inside of a hospital again, it will be too soon. I do like Mother's Day. My kids and husband are sweet and thoughtful. Glad to be a new follower.

  4. I know how you feel roxy. I recently had to go to a hospital for a routine test and I had a mini meltdown. It was not fun.

  5. Mother's Day is sweet, but like probably most mothers, it's not the cards that make it special, but the kids, be they two or forty-two or in-between.

    Straight From Hel

  6. Jenn, I found your picture on the Follow list on The Blood-Red Pencil. You must have joined quite a while ago because you show up about 15 pages deep.

    Straight From Hel